Why do hostel proprietors want me to have sex? Why?!
The latest hostel I checked into, at 12 last night after a thrilling and lonely train ride from Zagreb, is coated with signs, the contents of which I will give some examples of-
Shirt and Shoes required. Bra and Panties optional.
Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere.
(Handwritten) Cold at night? Why not share your bed with someone?
I am aware that some hostels are specifically for this type of thing. I met a woman from the States who was travelling with her kid, who said that she had a hard time getting a hostel in Amsterdam because most did not allow children. Oh, yeah, I guess kids are pretty messy, I said, my eyes alight with innocence. Noooo, not quite, she replied with a laugh, her daughters head on her lap. The woman leaned in close-
The hostels are for getting laid, was the whispered response.
But this is not that kind of hostel! It booked itself as a non-party hostel. It description said, please keep it down after hours, we have neighbors. Yet here I am. Already I have been asked by the hostel owner, so, where did you come from? Croatia? How are the girls there? I hear, in the summer, they do not wear many clothings. Is this truth?
This is not an isolated incident either. I have been to at least a few other hostels where the owners have seemed to have some secret, foreboding interest in my love life. They waltz up to me, nonchalanty. ˝See those girls, they say, pointing at some hostel guests. Those girls are very pretty, arent they? They are from sweden *wink wink (WTF?)*.˝ Or, ˝hello hello, sir! Welcome back from the beach. Was it a topless beach? Did you rub any of the oils or lotions on the backs of any sexy girls? Did you maybe drink any alcohol and go skinzy (thats verbatim folks) dipping? Tell me all about it.˝
I suspect some sort of demonic pact with an incubbi, wherein every tryst conducted under their roof garners them a bit of currency to use in purchasing cthonic horrors or secret powers which subvert the humanity of the wielder.
Anyway, its my first day in Budapest. I am alone now, but Ive been enjoying the time to think, and write. Now... whats in Budapest?
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2 comments:
Dear Rhys--Such prurient interest in your amatory adventures--or misadventures--or nonadventures!
Just go to your room and read your Bible--you remember you bought a Bible? Whatever.
I am enjoying your blog immensely. You really must get back to writing. Don't let it get away from you! Have a good time, enjoy, etc. etc. Love, Gramma
Marti & I just returned to Seattle yesterday. Three and a half weeks in Belgium, Netherlands, Germany & Denmark.
I totally agree that travel is all about the people you interact with and less so about the sights you see.
You are probably smart to stay in eastern Europe. We were surprised how much cost, especially in Denmark! $8 for a coke in a sidewalk cafe!!!
Even though we enjoyed bicycling in Belgium & the Netherlands, I think you guys made a good choice to leave your bikes at home.
Finally, now you DO know someone who was robbed while traveling. I was "Picked" while riding the tram in Amsterdamn.
I was lucky though. They only got my wallet with only one credit card (quickly cancelled) a drivers license & some cash. As a fat cat American, I can take the hit and laugh about it later that same day.
As a poor young starving traveler you might not fare as well.
We are now totally caught up on your blog and loving it. Sure, we'll take a postcard.
Marti & Charlie
7551 Ravenna Ave NE
Seattle 98115
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